He is an equal opportunity slut.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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