Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
