Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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