Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
