what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize