addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
