There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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