Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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