Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
