If i come over, it means nothing
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
