drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
