it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
