White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
