why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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