But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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