just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
