Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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