I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
