This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
