if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
