He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
