Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
