Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
