someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
