Who did Billy Mays play for?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
