I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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