My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
