i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
