To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
