Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
