porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
