if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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