apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
