I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize