we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
