ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
