On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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