She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize