thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
