Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
