i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
