I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
