Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
