My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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