we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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