I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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