I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
