They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
