I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
