I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
