I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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