Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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