i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
