we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
