Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
