I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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