if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
