If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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