Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
