I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
