So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
